I've felt a little... alone lately. I'm not sure alone is the right word, but it's what I'm going with for now. I seem to be stuck.
I can't figure out a good way to explain this tactfully, so I'm just going to jump in.
I have a great friends. I've always believed that you build your family, and my friends have always been mine. I have my high school friends, I've got my early high school friends friends, I've got my basketball friends, I've got my graduation friends, and I've got the ones that don't fit into those groups.
I love all my friends - but something just hasn't been clicking lately. I still feel lost.
And my high school friends... well I just don't think we're alike anymore. Yes they're always going to be dear and near to my heart, but we've, or at least I have, grown apart. I don't find the same things funny as them anymore, and that's really saying something. But I will always value them and love them, for they're the only ones that could really know my background. They know the struggles I had between balancing my family values and sports.
But I still feel like nobody knows the "new" me. I've definitely changed these past 2 years, and when I'm talking about what I'm doing next year, I not only get a lack of support, but also a lack of understanding. Or if I'm going through something, I'll get sarcasm, an insult, or some witty retort - but not support. This was really made apparent to me when I realized that the only support I was getting about my decision was from my advisor.
Even if my decisions aren't liked or agreed with, I expect support. I expect an understanding of why I'm doing what I'm doing because I expect that I'm understood as a person, and therefore the reasons are apparent.
Perhaps its my fault - perhaps I've become a recluse these past 2 years, not talking to people everyday, and therefore losing my bonds with my friends.
Maybe it's good that graduation is upon us .
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